Day -16 And Still Nothing New (or Day 210)

Just a couple of weeks to go and still I acquire no new skill and I even feel that I am dumber than ever.

I should do a lot of things and learn a lot more but here I am writing this feeling gloomier and gloomier. Should I do something about myself? Like making list of things to be prepared for the event?

Yes I should.

But here I am typing at this window for a post while my mind went partially blank, not even know what to do next.

Day 210: Times' A Changin'

How did I suddenly became gloomy like this?

Maybe because I held everything to myself and keep everyone away.

These are the loneliest days of my life -- times when I think that I really got no one to share, to tell -- and sometimes an end seemed very tempting.

I seek answer but I found no one I can trust who will give me any answer or at least to show me some way.

And changing are people and things around me. People leave one by one.

That made me just getting bitter. My fear is The Change. I know it is irrational but some people have phobia to change and I am one of them. The Change making me feeling a lot of mixed emotions.

Times are changing and I am afraid of what tomorrow will bring.

And to think there is no one to bear with me...

Day -18 And Another Grumpier Day

What is it with this people?

Just finding a couple of serial numbers in a couple of binders, typing them, check and rechecking the numbers, then printing all the documents (two copies for the total of about fifty sheets) should be easy, right?

Yet this guy spend all day doing just that and at five o'clock is already checking out and preparing to go home.

And not even doing anything more. I know he always lagged on documenting things and organizing but this is ridiculous!

It happened a couple of times already and I am the one who's taking s**t for other people's messing up. Craptastic!

Day 205: Colleagues, Oh My Colleagues

How fun can work be if you have colleagues just like mine?

They surely and successfully give me headaches when I need it the least. Oh well, what can I expect?

It's Now Day -22

Today I learn that you can only trust one that much. Being "that" is loosely based on the character of the person whom you gave it to.

But then again, I really hope people can expand their own abilities and upgrading themselves -- which is an egoist notion actually. By being more qualified means that I can delegate more and more work to others.

But then again, doing things would only make me better and better at those things. This is not dillematic because it's simple, really. Do more, practice more, became an expert.

I remember that I haven't finished making padding for my sidebag so I can fit my flash unit and my camera in a bag safely. Safe here means that it has adequate protection against banging them to other things and the bag doesn't look like a camera bag which might fool people who would've thinking of robbing me out of my gears. That way, I can travel feeling more secure.

Day -23 and Another Distraction

This time my job is distracting me from my goals. I have to give support for my colleagues -- which is expected -- and set my priority list aside.

But that is O.K. Since it was my job that sustaining me all these time and surely that being the thing that enable me to take this excursion. Surely, being involved in a committee took up my mind off this preparation too. Maybe I just have to put up extra time for accommodating all these things that happened simultaneously in my life.

Right now, off to my colleagues!

Day -24 And Counting Down

Time sure slipped by..!

And I'm kind of afraid that I won't be prepared enough when the time come!

Day -25: Priorities Get Mixed Up

You see, I have made a priority list.

But being me, I got it all mixed up with the top most became the third or fourth and the not-so-important became number one priority.

Oh well, that's what went wrong with my head. I should preparing myself and my gears but then my concentration and will get distracted by this application that already take up much of my online time, mind, and energy.

Right now I am typing this while occasionally checking on the progress.

Hmm.. Shouldn't I be doing something more productive?