Lebih Setahun Sudah

Lebih setahun sejak terakhir aku posting di blog ini dengan mood yang seperti ini.

Tak ada yang benar-benar berubah dariku kecuali bertambah tua. Masih seperti yang dulu, yang selalu melakukan kesalahan (yang sama!) dan tak bisa mengambil keputusan yang terbaik untuk diri sendiri. Benar, aku menyerahkan kewajiban (atau hak?) itu kepada orang lain.

Seperti berjalan di tempat sementara orang lain sudah ada di terminal yang berbeda, di stasiun yang lain, di kota yang baru, dalam alam yang berbeda.

Lebih setahun sudah sejak terakhir aku menulis posting di blog ini dengan mood yang seperti ini dan masih tetap saja belum ada hal membanggakan yang sudah berhasil kucapai.

Setidaknya aku masih bertahan hidup di kota besar ini.

Mungkin, itu sebuah prestasi?

How To Talk To People?

How do I talk to other people so that they can - and will - conform to my request and/or demand?

Talking is never my good point. I know this and I want to make improvement on this issue.

Talking to other people, to be able to smoothly convey my intention and meaning, to persuade the person that I mean to persuade, is a challenge in my everyday life. This couldn't continue!

The thing is, HOW to improve myself?
We. Are. Now.®

Alasan Untuk Berkarya

Apakah alasanmu untuk bangun setiap pagi dan melakukan pekerjaanmu?

Apakah yang mendorongmu untuk berkarya dalam segala kelebihan dan kekuranganmu?

Apa tujuanmu?

Itulah beberapa pertanyaan yang muncul di dalam pikiranku beberapa waktu terakhir ini. Aku harus bisa menemukan cara untuk membangkitkan lagi keinginanku bertualang dan menantang diri sendiri, untuk menghasilkan sesuatu karya yang bisa kubanggakan, yang bisa memuaskan diri sendiri.

Mau jadi apa aku nanti?

Selagi aku masih menemukan kesulitan menjawab hal seperti itu maka aku belum akan bisa menjadi apa yang aku mau. Alasan untuk berkarya.

Pertanyaan Retoris:

Kenapa Tidak Melakukan Sesuatu Yang Menantang Dan Menyenangkan Untuk Diri Sendiri?

Work Hard Play None

Should Have Know That This Would Not Be One Easy Life.

Right Now I Am Throwing The Dream Of Worklife Balance.

Previously Unbalanced. The Scale Was More Inclined Toward Personal Living. Right Now It's More Work And (Almost) No Play. Feels Like Paying Some Retribution Of Some Sort.

Another Option, Another System

Should set aside  some change for my next smartphone. Just saw a sketching web app that can work with a notes web app that I want to learn to use. This collaboration seemed to be interesting and I think can be really useful for my blogging hobby.

Because open source system that support this app is cheap, I should be able to get one in cash. But to maximize the usage, I must use a larger screen, and that means a much expensive tablet PC.

Work harder then and hope that in the next evaluation, I can get better offer. Only then I will probably set aside some change for the tablet.

When In Trouble

When you know that you are in trouble yet do not do anything about it other than pretend that there's nothing wrong, or being ignorant, or just pray it will go away?

Do you know that helplessness, that despair, the thing that made you just wish you were never been born?

Fight it.

That's what I do.

That's what I try to do each time that stupid ugly feeling came up again. I know that I am stronger than what I showed in the outside.

I know in the end that I will prevail. I know this for a fact because I should.

Identify The Problems, Then Do Something

There are a lot of problems here in my current geographical position. To my dismay, these kind people live life as they usually do, BEFORE they were more complicated.

The challenge would be to tell these kind people that they have HUGE problems. That they have to CHANGE

Eventhough I can identify the problems, the solution depends on these people admit that they have problems -- which when they can't solve the problems, then they should seek professional help. I should learn to be more convincing about any subject.