How Cool Is Your Siblings

Actually, NOT cool. I have had bad times and worse. My brother can even make a happy morning turned sour or gloom. Such power, wielded in a man's hand.

To think that that guy can ask and make you feel that you have to obey, when actually you're the one who's doing him a favor, now that's a really special power. I just wish that that dude wouldn't abuse it too often.

Oh by the way, big city like Jakarta surely have a lot of people living there, people that maybe at sometimes are so self-centered but not realizing it, that made you felt suffocated. You know you are angry or upset with how some of them treat you but you know that actually they didn't really mean that. It's just that they do what a lot of people did: being unsensitive but mindless about it.

You see, when you have to travel across state border to meet some people, you'd expect the person you're going to meet appreciate your effort, time, and energy you spent to get there. At least to some level. But when you're being told to just wait or being said words like you're disturbing their oh-so-busy-life-and-important-STUFFS-to-do, like you're interrupting some serious business, wouldn't you be questioning what the hell are you even doing there?

Oh I forgot. I just making some unimportant queries that not even need some considerations. Maybe because that I am just a nobody.

Maybe if I am someone, like SOMEONE IMPORTANT, a hot-shot in Jakarta, then -- and ONLY then -- I will get the proper attention (like, minimal?) that (maybe un-) deserved by a man at my state.

That is, the state of nothing?

I Guess That's One Down

There's a lot happened already. Problems, problems, and more problems. Hurt my head. Hurt my feelings. Nothing positive coming out of this. Some of the times I felt worse because actually I am fooling others, I am fooling myself, and I am fooling God. At least the latter part, I pretend to be fooling Him.

So that's it. After years of working and splurging, experiencing a lot and missing a lot more, high times and low, I am officially broke.

That one experience alone is worth more. I know how helpless one could feel about that. How much money can influence the quality of my life. How was it affecting me, my choices, my actions, etc.

From training myself to be more positive and outwardly, it changed me to the extreme reversion. Such is the power of money. I hope I would never be encountering the same problem again or else I'd be losing my sanity [hyperbole intended].

After -- at least I think I did -- tackled that one problem down, I have another one: to change my spending habit. This one is really hard and I mean, REALLY HARD. I hope I could, though.

While I'm at it, I guess the other one is to confront the result of my own doing a few months ago. This one is as hard as it may be.

God, help me to be able to speak this one out.

Day 110: The Bleakest Period Of My Life

Talk to me softly / There is something in your eyes / Don't hang your head in sorrow

And please don't cry /I know how you feel inside / I've been there before
Somethin is changin' inside you / And don't you know
.

.

.

Don't you cry tonight

There's a heaven above you baby
And don't you cry tonight
.

.

.

Give me a whisper / And give me a sign / Give me a kiss before you
tell me goodbye / Don't you take it so hard now
And please don't take it so bad
I'll still be thinkin' of you / And the times we had...baby
.

.

.

You gotta make it your own way / But you'll be alright now sugar
You'll feel better tomorrow / Come the morning light now baby

=======

I still don't know what to say.  But all I know that it was all my fault. The only thing left to do now is learning from this.

Maybe I am not worthy of anything and God just made me here to be an example of bad judgement in life, love, and relationship.

I am sorry, L.

I am sorry, M.

A Female Autobots!?!?

Menyusul kesuksesan The Transformers (2007), beredar rumor tentang karakter-karakter baru yang akan muncul di dalam The Transformers 2. Salah satu yang paling menarik tentunya adalah kemunculan sebuah Autobot perempuan (betina?), dengan konsep model seperti ini:




Yang kubayangkan adalah Megan Fox mengenakan sejenis jumpsuit ketat dengan warna senada memacu motor ini mencoba menyelamatkan si chickensh*t Shia Lebok(!) -- or whatever his name is -- dari kejaran Starscream (Decepticon yang di ending film terlihat terbang tinggi menembus awan).

Ehem ehem. What about this idea, Mr. Bay?

Memang fantasi tentang robot perempuan dari dulu selalu menarik - terutama bagi laki-laki. Mungkin ada yang salah di otak kami ini? Entahlah. Daya tarik tema seperti ini begitu besar bagi kami yang mungkin tergolong ke nerd, geek, atau sekedar kutu buku and/or AFC.

Mungkin kalian ingat tentang video clip Aerosmith yang "Falling in Love is Hard on Your Knees", aku rasa itu tentang seorang pemuda yang menciptakan fembot. Yup, fembot dan bukan robot perempuan (atau bahkan robot betina). Bahkan di internet kita bisa menemukan forum tentang fembot seperti yang ada di sini, atau sebuah tulisan yang mengulas kenapa kita (laki-laki!) begitu tertarik dengan fembot.

Anyway, mungkin perlu diperjelas, fembot itu secara penampilan luar mirip dengan manusia (perempuan), sedangkan karakter baru Autobot itu (kalau benar dimunculkan) adalah jelas-jelas hanya sedikit menyerupai wanita. Yang dulu sempat muncul dalam pikiranku adalah: apakah dia digilir oleh para Autobot? Atau dia "gula-gula"-nya Optimus Prime?

Apakah sebenarnya pertempuran Decepticon dan Autobot itu selain merebutkan energy cube, juga merebut/mempertahankan satu-satunya robot perempuan (betina?) di planet Cybertron? Apakah ini juga menjadi semacam analogi bagi kita di bumi, bahwa wanita adalah sumber masalah? Ingat Kuda Troya?

(Arguably, is the REAL problem just because of the male EGO?)

Jepang sudah memproduksi boneka perempuan yang memiliki tubuh idaman para pria (dan wanita juga). Kepala boneka ini bisa dipertukarkan. Bahkan dada mereka (kabarnya) sangat mirip dengan dada perempuan bila diremas (and they even jiggles too)!!!

Tak lama lagi kita akan menemukan (bukan robot perempuan yang bisa berubah jadi sepeda motor) dalam kehidupan sehari-hari, robot perempuan atau fembot seperti yang sudah ada di Kanada (lihat video):




Ha ha ha!

i like girls... but sometimes (part 1)

this is just the beginning of the end
just when the end is nigh

Kadang kala, memberi ada orang yang mendatangi kita dan meminta nasehat. Entah itu tentang pekerjaan/karir, pilihan yang harus diambil, hubungan khusus/jodoh, bahkan dalam urusan sederhana seperti mau makan apa.

Atau kadang nasehat yang dicari adalah tentang sex in a relationship.

Sebut saja -- untuk anonimitas -- si Yodel yang sudah pacaran dengan si Yadol, bertahun-tahun sejak dari masa kuliah. Sebenarnya Yodel dan Yadol memutuskan untuk menikah bulan November 2008. Tapi akhir-akhir ini si Yodel makin kesal dan merasa terganggu dengan permintaan si Yadol untuk melakukan hubungan seks. FYI, si Yodel berprinsip no sex before marriage dan untuk itu dia mempertahankan keperawanannya sampai menyimpannya di dalam safe deposit box di sebuah akaun rahasia di sebuah bank di Karibia. No, I made up that last part.

Si Yadol (mungkin) merasa, karena mereka toh sudah akan menikah, jadi (berani untuk) meminta melakukan aktivitas seks. Permintaan (dan bujukan) ini makin sering dilakukan Yadol dalam tiap pertemuan mereka dan melalui pembicaraan via telepon. Alasan Yadol, menurut si Yodel, "Masa kamu mau aku melakukannya dengan tenaga profesional? Padahal aku butuh nih."

Nah, si Yodel meminta nasehat dengan pertanyaan yang panjang yang dapat ditulis dalam satu kalimat singkat: "What should I do?"