Pertanyaan Retoris:

Kenapa Tidak Melakukan Sesuatu Yang Menantang Dan Menyenangkan Untuk Diri Sendiri?

Work Hard Play None

Should Have Know That This Would Not Be One Easy Life.

Right Now I Am Throwing The Dream Of Worklife Balance.

Previously Unbalanced. The Scale Was More Inclined Toward Personal Living. Right Now It's More Work And (Almost) No Play. Feels Like Paying Some Retribution Of Some Sort.

Another Option, Another System

Should set aside  some change for my next smartphone. Just saw a sketching web app that can work with a notes web app that I want to learn to use. This collaboration seemed to be interesting and I think can be really useful for my blogging hobby.

Because open source system that support this app is cheap, I should be able to get one in cash. But to maximize the usage, I must use a larger screen, and that means a much expensive tablet PC.

Work harder then and hope that in the next evaluation, I can get better offer. Only then I will probably set aside some change for the tablet.

When In Trouble

When you know that you are in trouble yet do not do anything about it other than pretend that there's nothing wrong, or being ignorant, or just pray it will go away?

Do you know that helplessness, that despair, the thing that made you just wish you were never been born?

Fight it.

That's what I do.

That's what I try to do each time that stupid ugly feeling came up again. I know that I am stronger than what I showed in the outside.

I know in the end that I will prevail. I know this for a fact because I should.

Identify The Problems, Then Do Something

There are a lot of problems here in my current geographical position. To my dismay, these kind people live life as they usually do, BEFORE they were more complicated.

The challenge would be to tell these kind people that they have HUGE problems. That they have to CHANGE

Eventhough I can identify the problems, the solution depends on these people admit that they have problems -- which when they can't solve the problems, then they should seek professional help. I should learn to be more convincing about any subject.

Love Myself

That is what I should do. I have to start from somewhere and the best point is to begin with myself.

I would love myself more and yet at the same time push myself to the limit because I have no more time to spend useless and aimless like what I have done in the last couple of years.

If I still intent on going with the way I were before, better if I end this all right now.

Because I have someone that I want to spend my life with, this is what I should do:

PUSH MYSELF HARD EVERYDAY FOR A WHOLE YEAR.

Only after that we can see what and where I would be next year, on December of 2012.

The more I love myself, the harder I should put my effort on making my future better. For her.

Obsessing With Order

I Do Not Like It When Things Do Not Go According To The Initial Plan. Even If I Had Plan B At Hand, Ready To Use With A Moment's Notice.

I Prefer Order. Surprising Elements Must Be Minimized.

Ancaman Kosong

Sebagai seorang yang bertanggung-jawab terhadap operasional kantor sehari-hari, aku merasa "impoten" karena cuma bisa memberikan teguran dan ancaman kosong. Kurasa semua orang di kantor sudah tahu bahwa teguran yang kuberikan dan ancaman (yang sangat jarang sekali) kulontarkan adalah hal yang kosong dan tak berarti.

Kenapa bisa begitu?

Karena The Boss tidak akan melakukan tindakan perbaikan apapun. Beliau tidak akan mau ambil pusing soal glitches and mistakes that happens daily. Beliau (sepertinya) hanya mau omzet yang berlipat ganda yang berarti profit margin yang semakin besar.

Di sinilah kami berbenturan. Berkali-kali.

Dan aku hanya akan dianggap seperti macan ompon yang gemar mengaum tapi tak mampu menggigit.