Rabu, Februari 25, 2009

Setinggi Langit dan Sejauh Daratan Cina

Tadi sore aku chat dengan seorang teman lama. Sudah sepuluh tahun aku mengenalnya. Sudah jauh lebih tinggi sekolahnya daripadaku. Sudah lebih banyak kota dan desa di Indonesia yang dia kunjungi. Sudah lebih jauh odometer badannya -- kalau ada! -- daripada aku.

Tapi anehnya, deep down inside, tak satupun dari dua aspek itu -- i.e. perjalanan dan pendidikan tinggi -- yang bisa benar-benar mengubahnya.

To me, he's still more or less all talk and theories.

Mungkin pendapatku bias karena aku punya rasa disrespect and contempt pada pribadinya yang bahkan sampai sekarang, meskipun sudah jauh berkurang banyak, tetap ada.

Some people just can't change (that is, not to say ALL PEOPLE)...

Memang aku sengaja menanyakan beberapa hal tentang fasilitas dan privilese yang dia sebutkan DENGAN ANGGAPAN BAHWA SEMUA ORANG MENDAPATKAN KEISTIMEWAAN/KEMEWAHAN YANG SAMA. LIKE IT IS GIVEN. 

Entah memang naif atau ignorant, tentu saja aku katakan ke dia dengan gamblang kalau tak semua orang di tempat yang sama dengan dia bisa mengakses semua fasilitas tersebut, which of course nullify his reasoning and explanations.

My God, mengingat dia sudah bergelar magister dengan gaji yang setidaknya beberapa kali lipat gajiku, tapi dengan opini dan pendapat yang seperti itu -- ditambah kebiasaan pengabaian fakta -- aku jadi merasa bimbang:

Buat apa belajar setinggi langit (eh, atau "menggantungkan cita-cita" ya) dan menuntut ilmu sampai ke negeri China kalau pola pikir hanya terbuka sebagian?

Ooopss.. Rasanya aku memang SANGAT BIAS kali ini.

Selasa, Februari 24, 2009

Day 55: Between Deutsch Metal Bands and Posting Here

Actually the title is just my way of describing the moment I'm writing this post. Rammstein, Oomph!, Tanzwut, Megaherz, etc. was among the list of the artist that played over the audio streaming.

Actually I've been planning on how to escape the routines in my office desk to go to the FOCUS Expo in JHCC! I read the schedule of each event and made some notes. Maybe I can sneak off by saying that I'm going to a client's office. But then, maybe not.

I just don't know it yet.

And I think I'd be drooling over all the gears and equipments on display at the expo there!

Oh by the way a friend of mine said that he might have a chance to photo a model for an upscale men magazine. All I can do is to wish him luck. If that happen, I expect to see the publication in the April edition.

I wonder how can I defend an attack to my village in the Travian world? I had no clear strategy whatsoever...

Sigh...

Kamis, Februari 19, 2009

Day 50: And That Made Me Into What, Actually?

I've come across another flop made by my counterparts in the eastern Indonesia. Here I have a project binder that's incomplete because a QC report that should be in it wasn't even existed.

That even hurt more since the binder already compiled since six months ago and even the person who's in charge of doing it didn't even mention that she had not receive the prerequisite report. The PC in the eastern Indonesia didn't make any and the compiler didn't flag or even tell me about it. Oh, what the hell...

Now, when all the similar project binders landed on my desk and I have to push it through our owner, how did I respond to a query about the missing report?

"Oh, sorry Sir, I believe I misplaced it somewhere. I still trying to find it and when I do, I'll send it to you immidiately," which will really give the impression that we're a bunch of incompetent people. Or malicious.

I know I'll be the one to be blamed for all this because everything has landed on my desk. And that made me into what, actually? A crap taker?

F*ck.

Sabtu, Februari 14, 2009

Day 45: At A Second-Hand Bookstore

This afternoon while I'm sitting at a corner of a second-hand/reseller bookstore, my mind wander around and I begin to entertain mischievous train of thoughts.

No, of course it's not for you guys!

Or maybe I'll tell you sometime in the future.

Actually I ended up being here because all those so-called friends that were so eager to go hunting together suddenly went silent when I contacted them. Now I felt like I'm a leper.

Crap.

Didn't I mention that their coffee here, Plunger (Hot) Coffee, cost you IDR 10,000/serving, taste stale and -- aaarrrgghhh! I was trying to find a proper description but maybe I'm not that eloquent enough!

I want to go hunting alone but the sky looked somehow menacing and it'll be suicidal for my camera if I went anyway.

Senin, Februari 09, 2009

Day 40, 2009: The Way Out

Today is Feb. 9, 2009.

If I'm not doing some error in my elementary grade math, today is Day 40 in this year.

I decided to do something new, counting the days toward new year 2010 with a simple hope that in this year might prove to be fruitful and eventful. Maybe with a couple of things aquired this year that make me a better man.

Yup, I tried to change to become more positive on things. To view matters and try to find the good parts. To become (gradually) more expressive and gain more friends. To get out more and learn new skills.

And to write about more things that I already did. Which is kind of hard.

Anyway, writing this first post are getting into my brain because there are just so much things to talk about. So many places to explore. So many people to get to know better.

Hopefully, after this year, I changed into the rock that I want to when I was a kid.

Har har...

(The Way Out -- or Jalan Keluar -- is a song in So7's latest album "Menentukan Arah" that really occupied my mind lately)

Tentang Sebuah Keputusan

"Bukan itu, gue takut buat ngambil keputusan. Gue takut keputusan yang gue ambil itu ternyata salah."
"Tapi kalau kamu tak mengambil keputusan, gimana kamu bisa tahu keputusan yang kamu ambil itu salah atau malah benar? Bukannya kamu harus mengambil keputusan, setelah itu kamu baru tahu itu salah atau benar?"

Sepotong pembicaraan yang terjadi beberapa waktu yang lalu, di pagi dingin di saat semua orang masih lelap tertidur, kecuali beberapa orang saleh yang ingat keharusan sholat lima waktu, yang berjalan melintasi tempat kami duduk, dalam perjalanan mereka ke mushola (diberkatilah mereka dan ibadahnya).

Lalu aku biarkan dia berdebat dengan dirinya sendiri. Kubiarkan dia mempertimbangkan semuanya, pilihan-pilihan yang tersedia dan konsekuensi masing-masing dari pilihan itu. Kubiarkan dia mengambil keputusan untuk dirinya sendiri. 

Karena, itu adalah hidup dia pribadi.

Bagiku, apa yang bisa kulakukan untuknya sudah selesai.

Kita hanya tahu keputusan kita itu salah atau benar hanya setelah kita kita memutuskannya, bukan sebaliknya.

Yang bisa kita lakukan setelah memutuskan, hanyalah belajar dari kesalahan -- atau kebenaran -- dari keputusan yang telah kita ambil karena hanya dengan itu kita bisa menjadi lebih baik. Kita bisa meneruskan hidup. Kita bisa mendapatkan kebahagiaan yang kita mau.

Untukmu, kau tahu siapa dirimu biarpun kurasa kau tak akan pernah membaca tulisanku di sini, kuharap kau sudah mengambil keputusan.

Senin, Februari 02, 2009

Revenge Of The Fallen


While the outlined plot seemed a little too ______ (I was thinking of "far-fetched" or "made up" but decided against it), the sequel to the Transformers movie is promised to be filled with a lot of more morphing robots!

Can't wait for this summer!