Day 270: Life Is As Good As What You Make Of It

It is two in the morning and everybody's asleep. Well, that's almost everybody, because if you can read this post that only mean that I am not sleeping, not yet, anyway. I did not want to sleep because when I sleep it will be Your face that I see, it will be Your face that I will be dream of. So, instead of a slumber, I chose to keep myself awake.

Someone I overheard saying that Life is as good as what one would make of but maybe I just didn't buy it. I mean, if there's always this perpetual feeling that things could be -- or should I say must be -- getting much better, why does it seem that for me at least that everything has come to a halt, being stagnant (if I couldn't say that it's getting worse and worsen), depressingly routine. It is hard to believe and hold on some optimistic point of view when every facts you have point on the other way.

I shouldn't be saying this -- or in this case, wrote about this -- but this need to write something on this wee hour is so great that I must write. Something. Before I will myself to sleep. Facing You again, in Your own domain, Your dwelling place. And there is nothing that prepare me to another encounter with You.

There is light and there is Light, but there is Dark also.

I just don't know what You represent. Not yet, anyway.

Isn't It Curious? Photography Books Queries...

Right now, sitting in a cafe, drinking black coffee, no sugar (one of my favorite drink) while using the available free wi-fi, my mind got on a journey -- as what a wayfarer should be. That's me, wayfarer, if you don't recognize it. Maybe it's just my nature or the caffeine in just one cup could get my mind soaring and wandering to places that might be unrelated to my everyday life.

Right now I remember my previous visit to a famous bookstore that boast to be the largest in Indonesia. You see, as a photography hobbyist, it's no wonder that I'd walk to Hobby/Photography section on my every visit to that bookstore -- or any similar but different brand bookstore.

But in any Indonesian bookstore, I see similarities. Coincidence? I don't know. Maybe that's because it just what we Indonesian do things.

You see, there's seemed to be a lot more books on photography's digital editing, more than about how to photograph or any real photography books that even tell you about basic rules in photography, or books on tips, or about certain places that are photographically beautiful. There's these line of photoshoping books on different version of PS, or different subject but using Photoshop, or using Photoshop to edit photos.

I mean, want to find a book about lighting tutorials or composition or how to use certain types of camera? Good luck on that.

Maybe because doing photography is still an expensive hobby or maybe there's not enough local photographers willing to write books about their experience or offer their insights but there's an army of photoshoppers willing to share. Which is, to me, is inadequate, at least for me.

I mean, are those pro photograpers, Indonesian photographers, unable to find time to write quality books on various subjects? How can it seemed that photographers are more content on showing-off their work -- thus a lot of coffee table photography books -- but not their how-to's? How come you can find image editing books easier than photography books?

I know there are a lot of photographers, Indonesian photographers, that have great works and cool photos. But what about their thoughts? Their taking on some photography subjects?

No wonder you can see a lot of average photos out there on any social networking sites that are photography-centric. Or average photos heavily edited with various techniques and tricks. I must admit that I am amazed at the photos, the amout of work (time, energy, thinking) that were put on that photograph.

But you just can't take any average photo and photoshopped it to be outstanding. That's just be really tedious. Or maybe it can but that'll take a lot of work than doing it right the first place...

Come on you guys! Where's your books?

Day -23 and Another Distraction

This time my job is distracting me from my goals. I have to give support for my colleagues -- which is expected -- and set my priority list aside.

But that is O.K. Since it was my job that sustaining me all these time and surely that being the thing that enable me to take this excursion. Surely, being involved in a committee took up my mind off this preparation too. Maybe I just have to put up extra time for accommodating all these things that happened simultaneously in my life.

Right now, off to my colleagues!

Day -24 And Counting Down

Time sure slipped by..!

And I'm kind of afraid that I won't be prepared enough when the time come!

Day -27: Easily Exhausted

Now I really have to admit: My body is a wreckage.

Months -- even years -- of desk job with less than adequate physical activities has already take on its toll. Now I am an overweight-lazy-couch potato with a beer gut. Not that I drink beer, it's just that now I look like someone who's three months into pregnancy. Not that I am pregnant -- I am a male, for crissake! It's just metaphorically speaking.

Even when I tested myself by climbing four-flight stairs, I ended up gasping out of breath on the top floor with my heart thumping loudly in my chest and making me hard to hear anybody. I thought at that time that heart attack was imminent.

No, I am kidding. I just happen to like exaggerating things to impress others. All right, maybe I am a little bit pathetic. But exaggeration sometimes add colors to stories, right?

Okay, back to my point here. I am easily exhausted and right now at three in the afternoon I have to fight this drowsiness eventhough I already gulped a cup of strong black robusta coffee. Okay, I lead an unhealthy way of life and now that I am preparing for an excursion to the east, I realize that keeping a healthy and fit body is a precious thing and appropriate.

Oh hell. I will walk more, climb stairs more, and even take out my old and dusty sneakers from under the cupboard and don them. Come tomorrow, I'll be walking around in the city garden!


... If I wake early enough.

Confusion on Day -28

Aaarrrggghhh!

I am really confused. Too many things to do yet so little time to do all of them! Especially when lately I seemed to be having some new level of laziness. I slept early and woke up late and still felt sleepy in the office. That made me unable to search and read all the things I deemed important to learn.

You see, previously I thought I could use my spare time in the day to learn about as much information and new knowledge and doing some practices in the night or early in the morning but my body just refused to cooperate with my mind!

Really make me confused...

Starting The Countdown: Day -29

Hooray!

Such an excitement that feels kind of strange to me these days -- because it has been such a long time before that I felt it.

I'm preparing for another excursion to escape this city that has been kind of depressing to me in these couple of months.

So much to do. I have to check and recheck my gears and my schedules and my plans and my itineraries. I have to be healthy and fit for doing the activities and whatever demand on my physical fitness should the need arise.

Well, that one is kind of hard. I am too lazy to wake up in the morning for doing any physical activities to keep myself healthy and in condition.

I should clean up my daypack and my backpack. Which shoes to wear? Do I have to bring two tripods or one sturdy tripod and one monopod? Which lens to bring? When will I be able to search through the internet to find interesting spots and places to visit? How much time does it require to reach each destination? Will the place worth the travel?

I must be doing some preparation and not even writing this post. Geez, so little time...